motherof9

….guaranteed!!! 

k, so i am (almost) off — this is probably the last time i’ll be on before i leave on Tues (early, early…) so wanted to say “Goodbye for a few weeks!!!” i will miss you all.

Remember:

NO JUNK:    Don’t buy it and don’t eat it.

Drink lots of water

Have tons of fun with your families

Exercise when and where you can

Be thankful for everything!!!!

love you all and will miss reading about your progress and oopsies and wowsers!!! 

stay safe, stay healthy!

that is just not enough time, but i guess, the time will have had to be enough — time to decide that what i am is what i am….. 

in a little over a week, i head to my dad’s family reunion — haven’t seen these people in 17 years and 5 kids ago…..

it will be fun…. kinda, they are all worried that i may want to stay with them with “all 12 kids!”  so, most likely will find a hotel in the area….. **sigh** people are weird….

Oh, IF any of you see people with t-shirts that say “H2O blood is thicker than water…”  that’s us!!!!  (Means “Hogues 2 Ohio” my brother is great at designing….)  so, say “hi, you don’t know me, but…..”  

I am very excited…… BUT, it means i won’t be able to get online on BS for almost 2 weeks!!!!  yikes!!! what will i do????? i am already feeling the “freak-out” of withdrawals!

ok, so, a week….. what can be done in a week?  i don’t think i can get my legs in much better shape, judging from the past, i won’t lose any more weight in a week (gonna weigh myself in a minute to see if there is a change i can log….)  my wrinkles are here for good, my graying hair can be dyed once more before the drive, but,…… not much else can be done!    i guess, i’ll just proudly show off my derriere as it is….

i have seriously considered drastic measures of losing more weight…. but, healthy is the key, and i won’t be healthy when i arrive if i do that — guess i would rather look healthy than skinny….. yes, i WOULD rather look (and feel) healthy.

sorry, thinking through as i type….. my husband hates that — he thinks — THAN he speaks, i speak AS i think…..  i guess, i need to “hear” it spoken to know how it really sounds…

sooooooooo, all that to say, i will arrive in Ohio next week healthy, with lots of kids, and a larger-than-hoped-for behind.  and, meanwhile, i will have to get my “fix” of BS to make it through those weeks without!

have a great Monday everyone

Eat healthy, drink lots of water, don’t buy junk, don’t eat junk, exercise in some way every day, pray with thanksgiving, and enjoy your kids (or parents if you are too young).

somehow, for me, it is always EVERYTHING or NOTHING!  eating, exercise, sleeping, kids (ha ha) 

after posting yesterday (first one, not the “eye candy” one….) i did get off my duff and worked out with weights — lunges, 2 kind of squats (legs together and plie), 2 kind of calf raises (in plie squat and up with a dip), dead lifts…. 3 sets, 10 reps each #15 dumbbells.   i was trying to get in a GOOD workout, i wanted to feel sore so i knew i had really worked hard!!!  besides, i am going to Ohio in a few weeks to see people that i haven’t seen in 17 years and 5 kids ago….. and i know it is hot, so it would be nice to be able to wear shorts in public….. anyway,  i worked hard!

then, my hubby came home from school and picking up son from tae kwon do….. it was 8pm and the sun would go down soon, he said…. “you wanna go for a run?”   “YES” i answered without thinking…..

you need to understand, i will do ANYTHING just to spend time with Dan….. “you wanna help me study?”  “YES”  “you wanna type while i dictate?” “YES!”  “you wanna go irrigate the land?” “YES!”    …… with him in school, i take ANY time i can to spend some time with him, so when he asked if i wanted to run, of course, i said yes…..

since it was close to getting dark, he started a faster pace than i am used to.  I have a route that i always take — measured with a bike meter thingy, it is a 4 mile course…. i know where the 1 1/2 mile marker is and the 2 mile marker, then i turn around and come home…. i ran to the 2 mile marker a couple of weeks ago, so i told him that’s where i wanted to go again — remember the “faster” pace????  sheeeeshhhshsh!!!  i was huffing, he was barely breathing, sad, but true…. (he got his heart checked while learning about the heart at school — field trip sorta… he has an “athletes” heart….. need i say more??)

we didn’t have a stopwatch or anything, and i can’t remember the exact time we left — but it was after 8:15pm and before 8:30 (we both had to change into “running” type clothing and shoes….)  we got home from the run at 9 on the button….. we probably ran 3 1/2 miles fast and walked the other 1/2 mile FAST — i can barely walk today…..

but, i MUST exercise — gotta look good for Ohio……    **sigh**  …. i am vain…..

on a side note — i did enjoy the run….. wasn’t really thinking about exercising, just listening to Dan talk…..  need to do that more often…..

its fun just to look at him……  **sigh** ok, back to work — Thanks Estel!!!!!!!

hopefully “everything else” is good enough for now…. it is too hot to run, and i can always find excuses to not get out into the work-out room — for instance, right now my infant daughter is sleeping — if i leave and she wakes up, she may fall out of bed! (i am the kind of mom that loves to sleep, so she sleeps with me, nursing is much easier….) so, i must stay and type to wile away the minutes until i have no time and must get on with my daily duties — exercise gone by the wayside…..

grrrrrrrr

but, i am eating very healthily (is that a word??) since i am not purchasing junk, i am not eating junk.  i have always thought that our food pyramid is wrong; the European food pyramid has fruits and vegies as the base, with grains up higher…. i will often eat a “sandwich” using lettuce (never iceberg) instead of bread.  Dan thinks i am weird - -he loves bread….. he also loves meat…..   (another difference in the sexes??)   I am not a vegetarian but i eat very little meat.

So,…… all that to say, i am trying to make even more excuses for my lack of exercise — eating better…..

**sigh** ok, i am off — i need to do at least something!!!!!!!     do you ever truly LIKE to exercise???   there are times when i enjoy it, but EVERY DAY like it????  

ok, i am procastinating yet again……    grrrrrrrrr

To all you moms out there!!! i know “Mother’s Day” has come and gone and Father’s Day is the one around the corner — but, this song has been running through my head lately…. partly b/c my daughter got me Trace Adkins Greatest Hits Vol2 — my kids cracked up when they first heard this song years ago — so we were all pretty thrilled to have it on the cd….

btw — watch his music video for this song on youtube   http://youtube.com/watch?v=RjdpSQD2bns    hopefully this link works — but after my hubby saw this, he reminded me of how guys think…… curves are sexy!

anyway….   lyrics…..

You’re doin’ all you can, to get in them old jeans

You want that body back, you had at seventeen

Baby, don’t get down, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing

‘Cause the way you fill ‘em out, hey, that’s all right with me

I don’t want the girl you used to be

An’ if you ain’t noticed, the kids are fast asleep

An’ you’re one hot mama

You turn me on, let’s turn it up

An’ turn this room into a sauna

One hot mama

You wanna?

Well, I know sometimes you think, that all you really are

Is the woman with the kids an’ the groceries in the car

An’ you worry about your hips an’ you worry about your age

Meanwhile I’m tryin’ to catch the breath you take away

Oh, an’ believe me, you still do

Baby, all I see, when I look at you

Is, one hot mama

You turn me on, let’s turn it up

An’ turn this room into a sauna

One hot mama

Oh, what do you say, babe?

You wanna?

I can’t imagine me lovin’ someone else

I’m a lucky man

I think Daddy’s got himself

One hot mama

You turn me on, let’s turn it up

An’ turn this room into a sauna

One hot mama

Oh, what do you say, babe?

You wanna?

so, all you HOT MAMAs out there!  here’s to weight loss, healthy eating, and loving ourselves each step of the way!!!

Yay Monday and another week to reach a goal, minigoal, or weekly goal — lets get cracking and reach Something!!  Have a great week with lots of support and love!

picts of my living room painting project — and a “friend” that showed up right as we were finishing…… eeeewwwww!!!!!  he (she, it, ???) was HUGE!!! 

I never realized before how important it was to be surrounded by women! i know, i am this old and still figuring out how to live life…. but, have you ever noticed that a lot of women are petty and hard to connect with? you think you have a friend, only to discover she talks behind your back — kind of thing — so i never really allowed myself to get too close to women….. guys are usually cool — they tell you what they think of you — good and bad — and then they go on…..

but, guys can’t really explain what goes on in a girls mind and/or heart — only girls can truly understand other girls…. what i am trying to say is

THANKS!!! thanks for your friendship, thanks for listening to me rant and rave and explaining how things are, what needs to be done — “and stop complaining! Do something!” i needed to hear all those things

so, today is another day — i did talk to my husband briefly on the phone  (he is staying in the big city to study before his test — every once in a while he needs to spend long hours at the library and commuting is difficult — just so you know, he stays at his mom’s house) so,…… he is not here to say anything else to make me mad, but he is also not here to really “fix” things.  i explained my point of view, he apologized …..

you know what?? i think he is bugged b/c all he can do is study and he sees me doing the “fun” stuff –sooooooo that’s why his words came out sounding mean…..

attaching picts to show you my latest “fun stuff” — painting my living room — i LOVE color in my house and am finally getting something other than white!

so, on to more exercise, more eating healthy, more water, more “fun”, and more relationship work.

Thanks for being great friends with the power to heal with a hug!!!

I am so glad this is so anonomous — people that know me for real, seldom, if ever see me cry and if they do, they don’t know how to deal with me — they freak out.  i think i am pretty strong for the most part, i can deal with almost anything — so when i show weakness and get “down” my friends/family are horrified and scatter — they just don’t know what to do!  its kinda weird, they may pat my shoulder awkwardly, but then they try to find something else to do.

i am so glad this site is anonomous!  why is it that our self-esteem is consistently based on what our loved ones think or say of us?  they may even say it unintentionally, not trying to be mean, not trying to be anything, just say something that pushes that one button, and all of a sudden, we are lower than low,  why? 

I KNOW in my head that my husband didn’t mean i am worthless, he didn’t even say it — but i FELT it from him!  anyone that knows my husband, knows him as being kind, encouraging, and sweet, they would be shocked if i told them this stuff, “Dan?? you mean Dan made you feel that way? is something wrong with your hearing? Dan wouldn’t have said that!! it must be ‘that time of the month’”

well, its NOT ‘that time of the month’  –

i FEEL like he tells me i am not smart enough to know and/or do things — he questions my actions, he questions whether or not i did it good enough, he tells me how to do simple things and then inspects them and criticizes the job.   i guess it reminds me of growing up, i would dust the top of the piano and rearrange the items there, my mom would proceed to move things even a fraction of an inch and i felt like i hadn’t done it ‘good enough’

i am a stay at home mom by choice but after days like today, i wonder if i am a stay at home mom because i can’t do anything else, i am not smart enough, strong enough, good enough to be out in the world contributing. — i am probably messing up all my children too — why did God even think i could handle kids?  the questions go on and on in my mind so then i think that i am probably going crazy and will need to be admitted — i usually keep all this to myself, noone ever knows the struggles i go through

so why am i blogging all this for others to see? i guess i am at a breaking point, i am tired of holding all this in and i need a hug — goes right back to — i never let anyone else know this b/c they freak out and i don’t want them to judge Dan and hold anything against him.

i told my husband last night that i didn’t need his encouragement anymore — i could find it somewhere else - it was a lie, i NEED his support, his love, his kind words.  my self-esteem seems to hang on his words.

At the same time, i know who made me after His own image.  I KNOW who loves me with an everlasting and unconditional love.  I know who holds me in His arms and comforts and whispers words of encouragement. i know who gave His very life for me so that i could have abundant life.  Whoever reads this that does not have a personal relationship with Jesus, this is to let you know that Christians are not perfect, we feel and do things that are contrary to what God has intended — but, because of that relationship, He is there with us, going through the tough times.   guiding, carrying, loving us and letting us know that He is always “I Am” the present, holy, loving Father. 

this too shall pass, Dan will come to his senses, i won’t quit, i’ll realize who i am in Christ and go on to be the mommy God intended me to be, the woman God intended me to be — strong, confident, and loved.

thanks for listening to me rant, you are great friends.

ok, maybe i am exaggerating….. but i am hungry this morning and i seldom eat breakfast — i know its the “most important meal of the day…blah, blah, blah…” but usually my tummy screams at me if i eat too early, so usually my first meal is around 11am –  WHY am i hungry now?? i’m afraid if i eat, my body will have fooled me – maybe i am just thinking about losing weight and if *suffer* through, i will see a difference.   grrrrrrrrr, i hate second guessing myself constantly.

anyway, i started out saying i didn’t have much time — kids are going to VBS, and i need to get them all going….

just wanted to say “HI EVERYONE!”   and  “Bye everyone”

healthy eating, no junk, exercise!!!!!!! AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER!

i started to write a post and it sounded like i was both!  had to scrap that post and start over…..

i ate crap all Saturday — my 5 yo daughter had her dress rehearsal on Sat and dance recital on Sun.  so bright and early (for a Saturday) we scooted over to the local HS, i took snacks — but not too many healthy ones — older daughter (14 and SKINNY) wanted candy bars so i brought them (and, unfortunately, ate them).  girls were STARVING at 1pm after the rehearsal was done so we went to McD — i didn’t get anything for myself — bad stuff, you know!  then i proceeded to eat their french fries — luckily they were lukewarm when i started so i didn’t wind up eating the whole pack. 

we always stay to help with the backdrop — like a tradition now after 12 years!! so we were there until 6pm with nothing but mcDs and snacks to eat all day — blahhhhh.

got home and ate one fish stick — nothing else, not ’cause i was trying to be good, but mostly just cause i was tired and feeling yucky with so much junk in my gut. — great day with absolutely no intentional exercise.

Sunday, drank a glass of milk for b-fast and RAN out the door — had to be at the church at 9 so i could do the projection.  RAN home to get hamburgers on the grill for everyone to eat so i could RUN to the theater for the recital — i ate 3 small bites of my lunch.  Got home at 6pm again — and ate a few tortilla chips with green chili dip for supper, had a few “dinner mints” (I love those things),  drank a cup of milk and later a cup of juice and watched a movie,  and went to bed.  NO intentional exercise again…..

on the good side, my daughter had a blast at her recital.  My older daughter had a great time hanging out with all her friends and being a “backstage mom” for the evening (since she went to Germany for the school year, she wasn’t in the recital this year).

so, the weekend was good in spite of all the BAD food.  i need a salad.

This week, i will exercise EVERY day again ( i actually ran twice last week and got in some form of exercise every week day!!!)

This week, i will eat healthy again.

This week, i will drink water.

This weekend, i will eat good foods with maybe 1 cheat, not a whole day cheat!

Have a great Monday everyone!!